to be young (is to be sad, is to be high)

There's something magic about saying 'I love you' for the first time to someone. My family says it often--not that that detracts from the meaning, just that I'm comfortable saying it. We say it at the end of almost every phone call and spontaneously, simply when the heart can't hold in the feeling anymore. And I love that my family is so comfortable. Saying 'I love you' to other people, though, that still scares me a little, even when I mean 'I love you' and not 'I'm in love with you.'

Last night I said 'I love you' for the first time to a friend of mine, Gabe, who understands all of my silences. And he said it back.

A friend from high school, someone I did theatre with but wasn't very close with, committed suicide earlier this week.